May 2004 Archives

Not that kind of Coke!

Coca-Cola. Although given my troubles saying goodbye to Coca-Cola, you have to wonder if they really did take the cocaine out.

Because I love Coke. When I was in college, I used to drink like 5 or 6 cokes a day. I could drink a coke at 3 am and fall asleep moments later (although that may have something to do with all of the alcohol I had at Bill's Bar before I had the Coke). Somehow the massive amounts of sugar I was consuming did not make me fat or rot my teeth.

Now, however, I am old. I'm not supposed to drink a lot of caffeine because I get cysts. And they hurt. Cutting out caffeine makes the cysts get small or go away. Plus caffeine keeps me awake if I drink it too late. Then there's my sneaking suspicion that high fructose corn syrup is what is making America -- and sadly, me -- fat. And Coke? Chock full of high fructose corn syrup.

And yet, I can't stop drinking Coca-Cola. Not for good, anyway. I always come back to my sweet, fizzy mistress. I even have a note on my computer at work that says "No Soda." It just isn't working very well. I've had a Coke every day this week. On Monday, I was tired. On Tuesday, I was celebrating my anniversary. Yesterday, I was stressed out. Today's rationalization was so lame I can't even remember what it was.

It's a problem. But now I've taken the first step and admitted to the world that something must be done.

Do you think a bigger note on the computer would do the trick?

It has come to my attention that:

a) when you click on the "comments" section of my blog, it says that I don't allow anonymous comments. That is not true. All you have to do is click on the "or post Anonymously" link and comment away.

(I know my friends are reading this, even if no one else is. You guys keep sending me emails about what I say on here. So make with the comments!)

b) if you get just one letter wrong when typing in my url, you end up at a crazy super-Christian website. That website has nothing whatsoever to do with hilldery.blogspot.com. Hilldery is what my brother called me when he was two. And it was available for use on Blogger. Just wanted to clear up any confusion there.

Sincerely,
Hilldery

Ugh. I've got a ton of work to do today, and I just don't want to do anything. Everyone here is cranky and overloaded and it is making me want to hide in my office and not talk to anyone. Thank goodness there is a three day weekend coming up.

I actually had a horrible dream last night that I got fired. And the worst part was that they had been planning to fire me for a year and everyone knew about it but me. Perhaps that is why I'm so unmotivated today. It's not actually the company's fault, but I'm harboring resentment because of the dream.

I also had a Sopranos dream. John and I watched the latest episode last night after our delicious anniversary dinner. And I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen the show yet, but I was very upset about the person who got whacked. Attention writers of the Sopranos: The person who should get whacked is that Johnny Sack. I don't care for him. Also, it would be nice to see Christopher descend into complete junkie hell. Thank you.

Well, back to work. Maybe if I actually get something done, I'll feel better.

Two years ago today, my husband and I got married. And it was wonderful. We had exactly the wedding we wanted to have. The ceremony was in the terraced garden of a local historical mansion, just at dusk. It wasn’t very traditional -- Seamus wore a tuxedo and was "best dog". We wrote our own vows, and created our own ceremony with the help of the Unitarian minister who married us. The people we love were there and it really was one of the happiest days of our lives. There was just this…glow, I guess is the best word, over the whole day.

A lot has happened over the last two years. Babies have been born…in fact, Leyton, Katya and Charley were all technically at the wedding – little stowaway guests in their mamas' bellies. Two of my bridesmaids have had babies. First Laila had Noah, and then Jules had Malcolm. People have died. Mary Pat’s dad, which seemed impossible. He’d always been such a powerful presence. And then Leo, which was shocking, and traumatic, and heartbreaking. And my uncle David.

We had crazy sniper attacks, which had our neighborhood getting shut down and men in helicopters with guns flying over. John lost his job, but started going to school full time. My parents sold the house I grew up in and finalized their divorce. I’ve been promoted twice and had four different offices in two buildings. I went to my ten year college reunion. We went on a free Disney cruise to the Bahamas, and actually had fun, even though it rained a lot. The U.S. went to war in Iraq, which made me sad, and John angry.

And through it all – good and bad – we’ve grown ever closer together. We dated for seven years before we got married, so I didn’t really think it would make a huge difference in our lives. It actually did, though. We talk about things in a way we never did before. We make plans in a way we wouldn’t have before. We’re hoping to start a family, although we already have a pack – me, John and Seamus.

And I am so in love with my husband.

Even though we don’t always agree, I love that he has such strong convictions. I love that he loves the real me…the goofy me who shows him the dance the Count was doing on Sesame Street and who cries during ER…the geeky me who reads fantasy novels…the insecure me who worries about inconsequential things…the lazy me who has skipped vacuuming the house for quite a while now…well, you get the idea. I love his sense of humor. No one can make me laugh like he does. I love that he insists on recycling everything. I love how he loves our dog. I love his creativity, his high standards, the silly stuff he does and how he makes me be a better person.

I could go on and on and on, but when you get right down to it, no matter what I’m doing, I could have just as much fun sitting on the couch, hanging out with John. He’s my best friend and I’m very glad we got married.

When I first started thinking about doing my own blog, I was worried that I wouldn't have anything to say. Now that I've started, I'm finding that I'm having more trouble deciding which idea I want to write about. So, until I get some more practice at this, my entries may seem a little jumbled.

First things first...the reviews are in!

Jules read my first few entries and composed a blog song in my honor. It goes like this:
Blog. Blog a blog. Don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to read (but it is!) Just Blog. Blog a blog.

Tim said it was "quaint" and that he liked it.

John wants me to write about penguins.

Amalah was nice enough to give me my very first comment! And while it is unfair that her side of the building didn't get free lunch (they work hard too), don't feel too sorry for her. They all got free Coach dayplanners recently. No free Coach stuff on my side of the building.

And Becky declared it "very funny so far."

It's official. Every one in the world has a kid or is pregnant except me.

Saturday was very baby-centric. John and I went to have dinner with my old friend Big Dave, his wife Valerie, and their little girl, Katya. Katya is my new best friend. We played in the sandbox, rolled the bubble mower around and read books. Mr. Brown can moo. Can you? Dave and Valerie wanted to hear all about Jules and her baby, Malcolm, and Laila and her little boy, Noah. Then I came home and talked to my friend Mary Pat who told me that my old birthday twin Hillarie Fogel got pregnant about 5 seconds after she got married. Plus two other people I know through her. And my pal Julie is pregnant, which Mary Pat didn't know.

I guess it all depends on where you are in life. Mary Pat said she feels like everyone in the world is engaged or married except her. But still...I'd like to have a baby. Sigh.

And finally,

I may not be able to go to work tomorrow, because there is a cicada IN.MY.CAR!!

I kept hearing this noise that sounded like a cicada when I was driving around this morning. I thought it was just my usual bug paranoia. Until I looked back and saw a big ugly cicada ON MY SEATBELT. Right by my head! Thank god I was still in the parking lot at Giant, or I would have totally crashed my car. As it is, I put on quite the show, swerving and slamming on the brakes. Frantically undoing my seatbelt. Yanking at the doorhandle until I figured out the door was locked. Hitting the unlock button about 17 times and then sitting there with the door open, trying to get the cicada to go out. With no luck. It's under the seat somewhere.

Up next: dinner with my dad tonight. Almost guaranteed to give me something to write about.

Ok world, listen up.

VEGETARIANS DO NOT EAT FISH!

Here's the deal. My company promised us free lunch today because we've all been working so hard. And we totally deserve it. So, lunch arrives, and there aren't any vegetarian sandwiches. Three different people said to me, "Well, you can eat the tuna, can't you?"

NO! People who eat fish but not meat or poultry are not vegetarians. I think they are officially called pescetarians or something.

So I had to take time I hadn't planned to use to go get lunch, and now I have seven minutes to eat before my 1:30 interview arrives.

Plus, I'm bitter that everyone got free lunch but me. But I did treat myself to a Coke. Yummy, forbidden caffeine-and-high-fructose-corn-syrup-filled Coca Cola. (Imagine Homer Simpson-like noise here)

A follow up to my very first post ever.

1. My motivations?
a) Writing is what I do. It's not my whole job, but it is a big part of my job, and I've gotten pretty good at it. But I want to get better at it, and I think I've hit a point where I need to find new ways to challenge myself, or I won't keep getting better. A blog seemed like a good way to do that.

b) as the title says, It turns out I've got something to say. I have a lot of opinions on what is going on in the world today, and I'm going to put them out there. Maybe it will make a small difference somewhere, somehow.

c) I like blogs. I've come across some really good ones, and I want to see if I can create a good one too. And I got some nice encouragement from my friend Jules, Amalah, who has a great blog at www.amalah.com and my husband.

2. Who am I?
I'm a woman. I'm 33 years old. I've been married to my wonderful husband John for almost two years now. No kids, yet, but we want them. I do have a beagle named Seamus who I adore. I have a brother named Tim, who is the person who called me Hilldery when he was little. My parents are divorced. I'm a vegetarian. I work for a company that publishes investment newsletters. I went to Wellesley College and loved it. If you're a Republican, you probably won't like a lot of what I have to say, because I'm pretty liberal.

3. My doubts?

a) I might not stick with this. I plan to, but I plan to do a lot of things that don't happen.
b) I might suck at this. Maybe my posts will be really lame.
c)I'm a reserved person married to an extremely private person. Maybe I'll get uncomfortable about writing about my life. Although, I guess I don't have to write about my life if I don't want to.

4. Funny story? Nope, I really don't have one for today. And yes, I actually was seriously confused about what day it was, but I'm not a complete ditz.

We'll just have to see how it goes.

So, I've been sitting here, staring at the computer, trying to figure out how to start.

Do I talk about my motivations for starting a blog? (Nope, no one cares about my motivations.)

Should I give a little introduction to who I am? (That seems pointless, since most of the people who read this blog probably already know me. For now anyway. Because, of course, this will become one of the most fabulous blogs ever, read by millions!)

How about bringing up my doubts about blogging? Like, will I stick with it? What about things I wouldn't want my coworkers -- or worse, my parents -- to know? Eh, that's probably been done before.

Maybe tell a funny story about my day? Did anything funny even happen to me today? Well, I thought it was Friday when I first got up. Then I thought it was Wednesday for a while, but I finally managed to connect to reality and figured out it was Thursday. Wait, that just makes me seem spacy, not funny.

Oh my god, stop over-analyzing just fucking write something already!

And so I did.

here are 100 facts you may or may not know about me.

1. My name is Hillary.
2. I’m a Pisces.
3. I’m in my early thirties.
4. My hair is curly, and blondish.
5. I am 5ft 1 ½ inches tall.
6. That ½ inch is very important.
7. My husband’s name is John.
8. We’ve been together for almost ten years, married for almost three.
9. My dog’s name is Seamus.
10. He’s a beagle. And he’s adorable.
11. We got him from the pound.
12. I’m extremely liberal. Socialist even.
13. My husband is even more liberal than I am.
14. I’m a vegetarian.
15. A vegetarian who does not eat fish.
16. So, no, I can’t “just have the tuna sandwich”
17. I have a degree in art history and political science from Wellesley College.
18. I love art and I can go on about politics for hours.
19. So naturally, I’m a marketing director for a company that publishes investment newsletters.
20. I write copy and work on our e-business development. Among other things.
21. Bad Penguin is not my first blog.
22. I had one called Hilldery that I closed after I got outed at work.
23. Because the outing was followed by a call from the VP of Human Resources.
24. I live just outside of Washington DC.
25. 10 minutes from the house where I grew up.
26. I love being at the center of all that is familiar.
27. My husband would rather live in Canada or Ireland or travel the world in a camper, having adventures.
28. Someday we probably will try living somewhere else.
29. But right now we’re trying to buy a house here.
30. And have a baby.
31. I really want a baby.
32. And I wouldn’t mind another dog.
33. I have a brother named Tim.
34. He’s 12 years younger than I am.
35. He’s far away in Asheville, going to college.
36. When I was in college, I spent two summers working as a park ranger.
37. At the White House (aka Presidents’ Park) and the JFK Birthplace (a National Historic Site)
38. It was some of the most rewarding and worthwhile work I’ve ever done.
39. My parents are divorced.
40. They hate each other, and are much happier now.
41. Sometimes they are very juvenile toward each other, which makes me nuts.
42. My father is a little crazy. Sometimes he combines the crazy with religion.
43. This has made me very uncomfortable with most organized religions.
44. Except Buddhism. Well, and Quakers and Unitarians.
45. A Unitarian married John and me. He helped us write our own ceremony.
46. I read a lot.
47. I’m willing to give almost any kind subject matter a try, but it does have to be well written.
48. I probably read science fiction and mysteries the most.
49. But I like non-fiction too.
50. I’ve recently taken up knitting
51. I like it, but I can’t do anything very complicated yet.
52. I also love to cook. I’m pretty good at it.
53. Becoming a vegetarian has really expanded my culinary horizons.
54. I am a fabulous baker.
55. I entered the Pillsbury Bake-Off once, but they didn’t choose my recipe. Even though it is amazing.
56. Those Pillsbury people can be short-sighted bastards.
57. I used to speak French fluently, but since I don’t have anyone to speak it with, I’ve forgotten a lot.
58. I have been to France twice.
59. The first time I went to Paris and Tours.
60. The second time to Paris and Perpignan.
61. Both trips were awesome.
62. I am not a very good sleeper. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. And everything wakes me up.
63. My mom can fall asleep in two minutes. And everyone else in my family sleeps like they are in a coma. It’s very annoying to me.
64. Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?
65. Music is very important to me.
66. I’ll listen to just about any genre.
67. But my favorites tend to be in punk rock, alternative, the blues and rock n’ roll.
68. I started taking yoga classes about six months ago.
69. I took to it like a duck to water.
70. But it is harder than it looks.
71. I studied ballet for years, so luckily I was already pretty flexible.
72. When I was 16, I played Glinda the Good Witch of the North in the ballet version of the Wizard of Oz. I was also one of the daughters of the rainbow.
73. Ok, the first 69 weren’t that hard, but I’m running out of inspiration.
74. Purple Monkey Dishwasher.
75. There, a quote from the Simpsons. I can pretty much always find a way to tie the Simpsons in to what is going on.
76. If I were a character on the Simpsons, I would probably be Lisa.
77. Yep, I was kind of a geek.
78. Well, in middle school I was a geek.
79. By high school I was a tough punk rocker, but I still had geeky tendencies. And a goody goody reputation.
80. I had great friends in high school.
81. Particularly my friend Laila, who is still one of my nearest and dearest.
82. My college crew – aka my bitches – are like family.
83. That would be Jules, Julie, Ariane and Carri.
84. I wish we weren’t scattered all over the east coast.
85. Jules and I once played checkers with shots of tequila. That was a bad idea.
86. When she went into labor with her son Malcolm, John and I drove all night to be with her.
87. I was going to write something about each of them, but then I remembered this is supposed to be 100 things about me.
88. My favorite Sesame Street character was Snufflelupagus. I probably spelled that wrong. I should’ve gone with the Count, but that would be a lie. I liked him, but he wasn’t my favorite.
89. I do, however, have a bizarre fascination with vampire stories and movies.
90. The same goes for Jack the Ripper stories and movies.
91. Speaking of Jack the Ripper movies, I’m a fan of Johnny Depp. (From Hell)
92. Ok, now I’m just getting tired and loopy.
93. My parents were very restrictive when I was growing up.
94. They once made me turn off an episode of Silver Spoons because they felt it was getting too racy.
95. I’m not kidding.
96. So as I got older, I lied to them a lot.
97. It was the only way I ever got to leave the house.
98. But now I’m a very honest person.
99. I’m also a very clumsy person.
100. A very clumsy, short, curly haired liberal person who has finally made it to 100!