How (not) to take a relaxing drive in the country

Leave work at the height of rush hour after having a stressful day. Decide to take the country road home instead of the highway, as the country road will be all pretty and pastoral and whatnot.

Discover that the country road is a little more crowded at rush hour than on the weekend. But then it clears out, and you start to cruise, enjoying the horsies on the side of the road, until…massive piece of farm equipment going 10 miles per hour! Curse the country road for being so damn authentic. Wonder if you’ll have to stop for cows to cross the road next.

Finally get to pass the tractor/thresher thingy. And then bam! They are repaving the road, so it is all ridged and noisy and bumpy. After a couple of miles, start to wonder how much longer this is going to continue. Answer: Seven miles. Seven long miles of bumpy, noisy road where they’ve taken out all of the passing zones and you are stuck behind a nervous driver in a blue Chevy. Eventually cross the Frederick County line and the pavement goes back to blissful smoothness.

Pass more farm equipment. Get chance to pass the annoying Chevy driver at last! Return to happy cruising, smiling at the sign that says “baleage” which is probably very proper farm-speak, but always makes you think of stoners or skaters baling up the hay for sale. And then encounter the last obstacle of the day – getting stuck behind old crone in Cadillac, going under the speed limit (naturally) for the last few miles. Triumphantly zip around her at a stoplight, turn left and head for home.