September 2005 Archives

Small Panic Attack

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I have just learned that my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law are coming for dinner tomorrow night. Along with my adorable nephew and my new niece who I’ll be meeting for the first time, which is great, but I thought I’d have more notice. Must go clean everything. And frame photos. Do you think I can keep them from looking in the linen closet? My linen closet is a mess. And I think we’re out of toilet cleaner. Yikes!

55

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That’s how many hours I worked last week – almost two extra days of work packed in to one week. Which means I haven’t had all that much to talk about, what with that being pretty much the only thing I’ve done. And we all know there’s no talking about work. In a general way, though, it has actually been quite interesting seeing what it takes to keep a whole group of people moving forward. Usually I just have to worry about myself, my two direct reports, and anyone with whom I am coordinating a project. But with my boss out and a massive deadline looming next week, it has been my job to keep everyone on my team and a couple of others on the right path, and I think I’ve done it. I’m also learning all sorts of new things, like what details you have to consider when arranging a video shoot.

So while it was a busy week, and certainly not easy, I would say it was a good one.

And then today I went downtown and joined in the anti-war rally for a bit, and then wandered over to the National Book Festival just in time to hear one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman, speak. He was as interesting as I expected him to be, and quite funny as well. I’m so glad. It is always a letdown when you see someone whose work you admire and they turn out to be slow witted or surly or boring in person.

I have to admit, I felt oddly disconnected from the rest of the people at the peace march. I’m no sure why. It may be that John’s cynicism is rubbing off on me; while I was glad to stand up and be counted as someone who opposes the war in Iraq – and really, pretty much everything the Bush administration stands for or wants to achieve – I just don’t think the people running this country give a fuck about what the people want. I heard there were somewhere between 150,000 – 300,000 people there today, but there could have been a million, and it wouldn’t change a thing. They’ve got three years left and they are going to keep doing whatever they want. What are we going to do about it? We don’t have presidential recall elections or coups in the United States. And I don’t think they are all that worried about keeping people happy for the 2008 election. By then, the country will probably be in such bad shape that they’ll be glad to dump it in some Democrat’s lap.

Recipe for a lovely Sunday

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Attend a beautiful and romantic wedding on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.

During the outdoor cocktail hour, enjoy the gorgeous view of the Chesapeake Bay as you sit with your husband and are reminded of all the reasons you married him.

Fondly reminisce about all the ways your own wedding was perfect.

Slip away to a rocking bench right at the water’s edge with said husband for a little while.

Drive home through the warm late-summer night, listening to good music and laughing with the man you love.

I have seen the next two weeks

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And I think they will be ok. Busy, but dreading them will probably turn out to have been worse than actually living them. My boss is very smart – last night she took me out after work and plied me with Cosmopolitans and cheese fries as we went through the three page list of projects I have to complete and/or keep moving along over the next two weeks while she’s out of the office and I’m down one employee. Well, just one Cosmopolitan really, as I did have to drive home.

But the alcohol and the cheese fries took the edge off as we discussed details, potential problems, strategies and people I can call on for help if I need it. Of course, we had to squeeze in a little talk about her wedding, too. It’s funny. I was so worried about her taking over as my boss back in March, but it has turned out very well. Even better, I think I will make it through the next two weeks after all. At least, day one went ok. Whew!

Halloween Candy

I went to Target tonight after work – a trip which took about twice as long as it should have because I was so damn tired – at one point, I found myself standing in the aisle, peering around confusedly because I couldn’t remember what the hell I was going to get next. I’m working so much that I’m actually getting less intelligent. Hopefully that will only be a temporary condition.

Anyway, they’ve created this enormous candy section for Halloween. In September. And I started wondering, who the hell buys Halloween candy this early? How can you buy Halloween candy six weeks before Halloween and still have it on October 31st? If I bought some now, I’d be lucky to have it last until the end of the week.

I work too much

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Last week, my company was only open four days, and yet somehow, I worked more than 40 hours. Today I put in another 10 ¾ hours…and it won’t be getting better anytime soon. One of my team members is leaving at the end of the week, and my boss is getting ready to be out the office for two weeks to get married and go on her honeymoon.

But once I get someone new hired and my boss is back? It is time for a change. I love my work. It is still challenging and interesting and sometimes even a lot of fun. But putting in an 11 hour day combined with a 40 minute commute each way (ok, 25-30 minutes when I leave the office at 8:30 at night) means I have no time to hang out and relax with my husband and my dog…no time to talk on the phone to my friends…no time to do things I really want to do, like posting coherently in my own blog or getting around to read the blogs I enjoy…working on other projects, like writing and knitting and stuff around the house…and no time to cook the way I like to do. Instead I find myself shoveling in takeout Indian food at 9:30 at night and then wondering why I have weird dreams. And I definitely don’t have time to exercise. On Sunday, John and I were going to go for a hike in the park, but instead, I took a nap. I was still worn out from the week I’d had.

Yep, it is definitely time for a change. Now I just have to figure out how to pull it off.

Unexplained mysteries

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Every night when I come home, there is a moment where I come over a big hill on the highway and laid out in front of me is the city of Frederick, with farms in the distance and mountains behind it. This is Maryland, so the mountains are more like very big hills, but it is very pretty and it is home. One of these days I’ll have to stop at the scenic overlook there and take a photo to share.

But last night, just before I crested the hill, the sky lit up, flashed purple and then bright green. It was very cool looking. Setting aside the most logical explanation for a moment – fireworks at a Keys game – I wondered, what could that be? We weren’t having thunderstorms. That leaves:

1. Magic. Harry Potter is real and we are all muggles, or perhaps Buffy the vampire slayer/Willow-style magic! Wouldn’t that be awesome? Not being a muggle, but if magic existed.
2. Aliens. Also an excellent option. I would love to see a UFO. Provided they weren't evil alien overlord types who just want to enslave or kill us, of course.
3. “Philadelphia Experiment” type incident at Fort Detrick. As my husband mentioned in a highly theoretical and somewhat confusing discussion we had the other night, we could be living in a different dimension as we speak and not even know it.

But it was probably just fireworks.

A little light babbling

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Yeah…I’ve pretty much got nothing to say. I could do the whole self-pitying whiny post thing, but frankly, I’m not in the mood to listen to whining (even my own), and you probably aren’t either. So I think I’ll just spare you the details and go with the summary: I had a rough day. Then I came home. Now my beloved husband and dog are making it better. They are the best.

And as of tonight, I’ve got one mystery satisfactorily resolved on Veronica Mars, with the big reveal – who killed Lily Kane – coming up next week. Plus, I just ate some pudding. Things are looking up – just in time for bed! But I remain hopeful that tomorrow will be a better day.

Kanye West, My Hero

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Kanye, I don’t know much about you. I know that you are a musician and producer, but I couldn’t name one of your songs if someone offered me cold hard cash to do it. However, any man who can address media bias – I had noticed that whole “if they’re white they’re looking for food, if they’re black, they’re looters” portrayal myself – and who manages to get the sentence “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” aired on national television, well, that man gets my respect. You rambled a bit, but in the end, you got your message across. Plus, you get bonus points for freaking Mike Myers right the fuck out. Of course, he’s Canadian, and by all appearances the Canadian government actually cares about its people, so maybe he didn’t understand what was happening.

If it makes you feel any better, Kanye, George Bush doesn’t care all that much about most white people either. I’d say the list of people he does care about is limited to his family, other rich people he knows, and his cronies in the defense and oil industries. The rest of us are insignificant little worms. Insignificant little worms who are all extra-screwed now that Rehnquist has died and Bush will get to appoint two conservatives to the Supreme Court.

And that, I think, is enough political cynicism for one day. We’re in the middle of a long weekend, the weather is gorgeous, and I need some relaxation. I think I’m going to go wake my husband up and see if I can’t convince him we should go hiking along the C&O canal.


Stressed

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If stress had a DefCon level, mine would be DefCon 5. Or is it DefCon 1? Sorry, I haven’t seen War Games in a long time and I can’t remember whether 5 or 1 is the normal level. Whichever one is the bad one – that’s me right now.

The themes for my day:
1. Crap, it’s only Thursday. I thought it was Friday.
2. Wait, if we’re closed on Monday, but we’re sending out [extremely complicated marketing project] on Monday, that means I have to have my part finished tomorrow. That particular light bulb actually lit up over my head at about 5 p.m. today. Good times.
And the always fun:
3. Do I have to do every damn thing myself? Apparently, yes. Although this one is more personal life related than work related. My team at work is awesome and does not make me do everything myself. That is left to doctor’s offices, labs, insurance companies and my asshole father. Who, come to think of it, is a doctor, so he fits right in with everybody else who is giving me trouble right now.

And in the midst of all of the many, many hassles – personal, medical and professional – that I have swirling around me right now, I’ve been watching the situation in New Orleans get worse and worse, wondering when the United States, one of the most advanced nations in the world, became some sort of Third World country unable to provide even the most basic type of assistance to its citizens. Why hasn’t the government done anything to help? Everyone knew Katrina was coming, so they had plenty of time to make plans for the aftermath. The storm passed days ago. Why hasn’t anything meaningful been accomplished in the last four days? I’m disgusted with this country and the people in charge. I am doing what I can – donating a little money here and there, but saving people from this disaster is our government's responsibility, and it is failing miserably.

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