It’s time to get serious

I had my annual checkup yesterday, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to quit screwing around and get serious about getting in shape. There was a time, not so long ago, when I was fit. I wasn’t necessarily as thin as I could have been, but I was still in shape. And before that, I was at a decent, if not perfect weight. I’m not sure I could ever weigh my perfect weight, which I believe is supposed to be 107 pounds. I haven’t seen 107 pounds since I was about 14. Sadly, yesterday I learned that I’ve gained five pounds. My weight is supposed to be going in the other direction! And they said that my glucose looked high, although that could have been because I sat in the parking lot outside the doctor’s office and scarfed down a burrito five minutes before my appointment. See, I thought they were getting lunch in after this meeting that I had from 9:30 to 12:00. But the meeting ended early, and no lunch appeared. And I had to run to the bank before the doctor’s so I just picked up food along the way.

Anyway, my fertility doctor already had me going for a repeat fasting glucose and insulin, which I did this morning, so I guess we’ll have an answer about my blood sugar one way or another soon. Oh, and then there was the depressing conversation I had with the regular doctor about the fact that yes, I do monthly breast exams, but I worry that if I ever did get a lump, I would just think it was another cyst, because I have so many cysts. And she said that just means that I have to extra careful to get mammograms every year once I hit 40. Which didn’t seem like such a big deal, until I thought about it and realized that 40 is only five years away. How the fuck did that happen?

Anyway, I think the five pound weight gain, the sudden realization that 40 is not all that far off (yes, I know, it’s not like my own age is a surprise to me, but still, I’m a little freaked out. Let’s blame my poor math skills and move on.) and the glucose issues –PCOS related or not – is my wake up call. I don’t want to end up like my dad, with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, a quintuple bypass and diabetes. The time to act is now. And so act I will. I have so many motivations for doing it – increased fertility, general health, a closet full of clothes that don’t fit, and then there’s the whole self confidence/self image benefit. Just prepare yourselves. I may be a little cranky as I figure out my new routine.