Everything I have to talk about right now is work related. Unless you’d like to hear some complaining about how there is a dog in heat in my neighborhood, so I have to put up with a horny beagle who fusses to go outside all the time and starts trying to get me up at 5 in the morning. Memo to Seamus: a) have you ever seen me get up at 5 a. m. b) just because you aren’t fixed doesn’t mean you get to have sex (John and I are very responsible that way, and besides, I’d feel like we were letting Bob Barker down. Have you ever seen Happy Gilmore? You don’t cross Bob Barker.) and c) that slutty little miniature Doberman is all wrong for you anyway. First of all, she’s tiny. Too tiny for you. And second of all, she’s already shacked up with a Corgi. I’m pretty sure she’d just break your heart.
So anyway, I was driving home tonight, and there was this commercial for some new McDonalds dessert on the radio. The husband brings the dessert home for his wife, which makes her suspicious. And the husband is offended, and says something along the lines of “What, I can’t bring home a dessert for my wife without another motive? By the way, we’re moving to North Dakota.” And of course, me being me, rather than wanting the dessert, which was what McDonalds was hoping for, I immediately start thinking about how they run that commercial in North Dakota. Who do the North Dakotans pity and joke about? And really, what is the regional cutoff point? Can they run that ad in South Dakota? Do the South Dakotans look down on the residents of North Dakota? And what about Nebraska and Wyoming? Does the joke work in other cold places, like Minnesota and Michigan? Perhaps people in North Dakota make fun of people in the desert or something, so their joke would be “By the way, we’re moving to New Mexico.” What is the philosophical/geographical/climatological U.S. opposite of North Dakota anyway? I suppose it might be Hawaii, but who would joke about not wanting to move to Hawaii? I mean, I’ve never been, but it is a tropical island, so really, unless you’re a vampire (and even then, I’m sure it is extra lovely at night) what problem could you have with moving to Hawaii? Are there people who dream of living someplace really isolated and cold? I bet there are. I am not one of them though. Offer me a choice between North Dakota and Hawaii, and I’ll take Hawaii every time. Sorry, North Dakota.
by the way... i'm moving to new mexico. :)
North Dakotans don't make fun of anyone, we're too 'nice' - except maybe Norwegians. But most of us are of Norsky backgrounds anyway, so it is like a blonde telling a blonde joke and getting it. I think ads make fun of ND because there are only about 650,000 of us and when you have a market as big as McDonalds, you can afford to piss off 650,000 people.
North Dakota isn't cold all the time, by the way. Today, the forcasted high is 98 degrees F. Hhhhhot, hot, hot. :)
I figure it is something like, "we are moving to Alabama"...no one wants to live here but me and I'm not terribly fond of it most of the time!
While I don't think I would want to move to North Dakota, the thought of moving to Hawaii makes me throw up. It is SO HUMID all the time.
Then again, I live in Kansas City where the same could be said.
You put a lot of thought into that. I doubt I'd end up in ND voluntarily.