December 2006 Archives

Sorry, Internet. I got really busy and wandered away from you for a while. First, I was frantically trying to wrap up stuff at work so I could be off this week. Then I was frantically trying to take care of last minute Christmas stuff. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday can be summarized thusly: family, food, presents, and lots and lots of driving in the rain. Oh, and my brother and I went to see The Good Shepherd, which can be summarized thusly: very well done, but too long, and awfully depressing. Nothing like watching a man lose his soul, piece by piece, over the course of two and a half hours to put a damper on your holiday spirit. By the end of the day yesterday, I was feeling totally overwhelmed and just a little worn out.

But today, today was my day. I got up and walked Seamus, and then went back to bed for another hour and a half. And then I got up and had breakfast and ran errands, and came home and read one of my new books I got for Christmas on the couch for a couple of hours. I worked out, and had dinner, and John and I just watched Must Love Dogs on HBO, which was a really cute movie. I do like John Cusack and Diane Lane. In fact, if they ever made a movie about my John, I would nominate John Cusack to play him. Not sure who would play me though. Anyway, I’m officially declaring that today was awesome. So now, late in the evening of December 27th, I’m finally ready to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I’m a little late, I know, but I still hope your Christmas was lovely.

If it makes you feel any less neglected, I’ll confess that I’ll be mailing out all of my Christmas cards late and calling them New Year’s cards. My pal Sara and I concocted a plan to blame my late cards on the post office, as in "You just got your card? I mailed them two weeks ago! That blasted post office is so inefficient!" but I can’t really pull that off here…

Look, the Internet forcing someone to be honest, rather than allowing them to deceive. Refreshing, isn’t it?

I made the cookies.

Ok, I'm making them right now. I also made cookies for my party over the weekend, and I'll make cookies on Sunday to give out to family members on Christmas. Plus a cake. Right now I'm feeling just a little bit guilty because I'm only making two kinds of cookies to give to the people on my team at work instead of my usual three or four. But it's 11:45, dammit, and I'm tired.

I do love baking, but this week has been crazy. I have next week off, so I've been trying to cram two weeks' worth of work into one, and I had a huge writing project due, which thankfully, I finalized this morning. I was nearing a dangerous stress level for a while there, but as the week progresses, I'm slowly calming down. I got the biggest thing done, and the rest will happen or not. I'll relax for a week, and then I'll tackle whatever is left the first week of January. Whew, does it feel good to get to that point.

Now, does anyone else think this conversation I had with my mom earlier today is a little weird?

Mom: I didn't get you that book you asked for as a present.
Me: Uh, ok.
Mom: When I asked where it was, they said the horror section, and I won't give you a horror book for Christmas.
Me: Well, see it's not really a horror book. I mean, it is about zombies, but it is supposed to be more like social commentary... [trails off]
Mom: I'm not giving you a scary book for Christmas.
Me: ...Ok, I can buy it for myself.

Do you have rules about what gifts are and are not acceptable at Christmas? I mean, ok, perhaps porn isn't very Christmas-y, but I wasn't going to ask for that anyway. Objecting to the subject matter of a (fictional, even!) book just struck me as odd.

For that matter, what's the strangest Christmas present you ever gave someone?

I had a dentist appointment last Friday. Not surprisingly, because my stupid teeth suck, I have two cavities. I also apparently lost a filling at some point in the last six months so I have to get that filled again too. Damn, I’m lucky.

But what they went on and on about was the space where Darth Tooth used to be. When I saw the oral surgeon, he told me that my best option was to get an implant, because he didn’t think I was a good candidate for a bridge. However, a tooth implant is not cheap, and not covered by my insurance at all. The missing tooth is in the back of my mouth, so you can’t see it. And I don’t miss it. I can still chew and talk just fine. According to the hygienist and my dentist, though, it is very, very important that I deal with the missing tooth. They said they think I’ll be fine to get a bridge, and that, at least, will be partially covered by insurance. But then they told me the cost: $3,300. And that’s cheaper than the implant? Holy moly. It’s a little tiny tooth – how can it possibly cost that much?

@#%&ing teeth.

We had the party. I think everyone had a good time. They weren’t all sitting there looking miserable, anyway, so that’s something. And it wasn’t the disaster I feared it would be. The hot hors d’oeuvres proved to be a little tricky, because I didn’t want them to get cold, but at the same time, I wanted them to be ready when people started arriving. That didn’t quite happen, but my friend Amy’s husband Gus jumped in and sliced up some Camembert for me, so the crouton with carmelized onions and Camembert came together just fine. And in addition to helping me clean and organize the house all week and putting up with my party-related worrying, John also saved the day by grating the cheese for my smoked cheddar and potato in phyllo cup appetizer. The desserts were a big hit, but that’s not a surprise – they were delicious after all. And the wine situation turned out just fine, although no one went for the red, plus two people brought red wine, so it’s like the bottles I already had got together and had a red wine babies. Oh! I got carded when I bought the wine, and the guy was serious too! I told him I really liked him, and he told me I must be living right, because I don’t look my age. Thank you liquor store guy.

But back to the party. It was freakishly warm here today, so we didn’t get to have a fire in the fireplace. In fact, no one went downstairs at all, so all of the cleaning and space-maximizing furniture rearranging we did down there was for nothing. Although if we hadn’t done it, everyone would have wanted to hang out downstairs. Complete strangers would have stopped by to hang out in our messy and poorly organized basement.

Naturally, the best part of the party was having my mom and my friends here. It was strange though, because I was so busy fretting about keeping the food stocked, and the appetizers warm and every other little detail that I didn’t really get to talk to everyone the way I would have liked to do. I got to have little chats with most people, but no real conversations. I guess it is usually that way.

The party was a lot of work though, and now I’m totally exhausted. I did manage to work out today, but other than some fresh vegetables and dip, I didn’t eat anything healthy at all. Still, I think I’ll have another cookie and then toddle off to bed. I can go back to dieting in the morning, right?

I really should be clearing the clutter off my desk to get ready for my party, but I decided this would be more fun. Here we have – completely unsolicited by either the companies that make these products or my lovely and talented readers – a few reviews:

Johnson & Johnson Reach CleanPaste Floss – the idea behind this is that the dental floss is coated with tooth paste, so it’s “like being able to brush between your teeth!” As we all know, my teeth need all the help they can get, so I thought I would love this product. Sadly, that’s not the case. The mint flavor of the paste clashes with my toothpaste. Even worse, as you are flossing, the paste gets wet and the floss gets all slimy. That’s gross, and when your teeth are all crammed together like mine are, you need a certain amount of leverage to get your flossing accomplished. It’s still a good idea, but they need to work on the execution.

Fuji Apples – I’ve always been strictly a Granny Smith girl. I like my apples tart and green, and I wouldn’t eat a Red Delicious on a dare. Ok, maybe on a dare. However, when you make an apple pie, it comes out better if you have a mix of apples. I usually go for Macintosh, but this year, on a whim, I tried Fuji apples. The results were delicious, and now I have a new apple to eat. They are crisp and sweet and manage to have a little bit of tartness as well. Yum!

Tiny Trapeze Vanilla Marshmallow Fluff from Whole Foods. I’ve been a vegetarian for five years now, and rarely do I feel deprived. But one of the foods I sorely missed was Rice Krispie Treats. Tiny Trapeze Marshmallow Fluff is gelatin free and ridiculously tasty, and they’ve brought one of my favorite special treats back into my life. Double yum!

Bumble & Bumble Curl Conscious Creme – this is the single greatest product I have ever used on my hair. It helps with frizz, and keeps my curls smooth and pretty instead of fuzzy and crazy. If you have curly hair, you should try it. If you have wavy hair, you can use it too. It smells good without having an overpower fragrance, and it really gets the job done. The fine folks at Bumble & Bumble get curly hair and what it needs. I like all of their products that I’ve tried, but the Curl Conscious Creme is the absolute best.

There you have it. Four product reviews for stuff you probably didn’t care about in the first place. And yes, I know no one asked me for my opinion. But really, if I were to the type to sit around waiting for people to ask me questions, why would I even have a blog?

What about you? Try anything recently that you either loved or hated?

Recently I had the bright idea to throw a little Christmas party. “Wouldn’t it be fun,” I said to John, “to have a bunch of people over for an open house? I can make hors d’oeuvres and desserts and people will come over and some of them will bring their kids and we’ll have a great time.”

But now the weekend is approaching and with it, the date of the party and I’m a little freaked out. My house is not nearly as clean as I thought it would be by now. I started buying some of the ingredients for the appetizers, and I realized that I don’t have any idea how many appetizers I should have per person. I’m not sure how many different appetizers I should make so that people have some variety. And I really, really am not sure what to do about beverages.

The last time I threw a party (aside from my wedding reception, which was catered) I think all we worried about was buying chips and dip and making sure we had a lot of beer on hand. As I recall, that party was not exactly a smashing success. We got a great turnout, but everyone showed up very late for some reason, and I was irritated with one of my housemates so I drank way too much, way too quickly and ended up hiding out in my room throwing up in a trashcan for a couple of hours.

I can guarantee that won’t happen this time, but now I’m concerned about dust bunnies in the corners, clutter under the coffee table, and not making enough food or having enough wine. You know what is not helping? Watching Top Chef on Bravo, which is what I am doing right now. I’m almost positive that the Top Chefs would laugh at my little menu, as none of my ingredients are infused with anything else. I’m not putting any weird combinations together, and I’m not using 15 ingredients for one tiny little creation. I do think my food will taste good, and I know my baked goods will be excellent. So I guess I just have to hope for the best. And be glad that my friends are nice people who won’t be mean if something does go wrong!

Now who can tell me how many glasses of wine I can get out of one bottle? I really don’t know how many bottles to buy.

Being a grown-up has a multitude of drawbacks. There are bills to pay…mortgages to worry about…hassles with insurance companies…having to get up and go to work when you’d really rather stay in bed and sleep…coming up with a new and interesting idea for dinner for the three thousandth time you cook it…401k’s…and so on and so on.

Of course there are benefits too. We may have to pay a mortgage, but that also means we have our very own house. And while I worry about, well, all sorts of stuff, because that’s the kind of person I am, I also get to live the life I want. I’ll take the responsibilities that go with that. But absolute the best part of being an adult so far is finally getting to a point where I can say to my just-finished-college-and-started-his first-job little brother, “Why don't I pay for a ticket so you can fly home for Christmas?"

What could be better?

Jenn over at Jenn’s Journal (you should go visit her, because there are some tasty looking recipes posted) came up with the idea for an online cookie recipe exchange for the holidays. Now, I am a cookie baking fiend, so I loved the idea and signed right up. Every year for Christmas I bake a bunch of different cookies and give out the assortments as gifts. It’s something my mom used to do, and I decided to carry on the tradition.

I picked this recipe up on the Internet a while ago, and last year it became my most popular and requested cookie. People could not stop raving about them! So I can tell you that they come highly recommended by the multitudes.

Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Chip Cookies

½ lb (2 sticks) butter
1 ¼ cups brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 tablespoons milk
2 cups rolled oats
2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups dried cranberries (it’s really one package, which I think is slightly less than two cups)
2/3 cup white chocolate chunks or chips

Cream butter and sugars until fluffy, and then beat in eggs, vanilla and milk.

In a separate bowl, combine oats, flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt.

Mix the dry ingredients in with the butter mixture, adding a little at a time until well blended. Stir in cranberries and white chocolate chips.

Divide dough in half, roll into a log about 1 ½ inches in diameter. Refrigerate until firm, about one hour. I always cheat and just stick the whole bowl in the fridge and scoop out spoonfuls. That works fine too.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Bake on cookie sheets for 12 to 14 minutes or until golden brown.

Enjoy!

That title has absolutely nothing to with this post beyond that fact that for some reason I’ve been singing the Pink Floyd song “Have a Cigar” to myself all afternoon. Maybe I heard it on the radio or something.

I’ve had a lovely weekend. I had intended to bring home some work to do, but I piled it all up and left it sitting on my desk on Friday night, which I decided to take as a sign that I didn’t really need to do any work this weekend after all. Instead I did some Christmas shopping, and a little shopping for me, too. I established that I really like Kate Spade shoes, but that I can’t bring myself to spend that much money. Look at how cute these are. Why must they be so expensive? And I actually had an encounter with a shoe guy at Nordstrom who I felt was a little rude, which was a first. Usually the people who work at Nordstrom are excellent at customer service, and in fact the people who helped me elsewhere in the store were up to their typical standard.

I realized that when I finally decide I’m skinny enough to really go out and buy a bunch of new clothes, I’m going to need a consultant. I have no idea what looks good on my new and improved body, which made shopping a little bit of a challenge. Also, sizing is so inconsistent! I seem to be verging on a size 6 for most things (whooppee!) but there are these outliers. DKNY, I’m an 8. I tried on a pair of Guess jeans, and they were too tight in a size 12 (ok, 32, which I think is a 12). Guess (ha!) which company is not going to get my business. I sure as hell didn’t lose all this weight – 34 pounds and counting – so that I could feel like a fat ass in their overpriced clothes. It’s like when you go shopping for a wedding dress and they tell you that wedding dresses all run small. If ever there was a time when a woman needs to feel confident and not like a big cow, it is for her wedding, so sure, that was a good call on the part of the wedding dress designer industry.

I had fun picking out books and toys for my niece and nephew, and I got a stuffed bear as a Christmas present for Seamus. He loves to “kill” stuffed animals, so we give him a new one every year. I’m not completely done with my shopping yet, but I am close. I’ll finish up this Friday, as I have the day off of work. I also have to go to the dentist though, which, yuck.

The weather was gorgeous and warm today, so John and Seamus and I went for a hike in the woods. We’ve been trying to become more active in our habits, and we’ve started hiking pretty regularly. I’m proud of us for that.

Oh, and if you were feeling just a little bit safer this weekend and weren’t sure why, I can explain. My baby brother got all growed up and took a job as a fire fighter on Friday. It’s pretty much his dream job (he’s been a volunteer firefighter for a while) and they are going to send him for EMT training in January. He will be a wonderful EMT and fireman. Congratulations, Tim!

My husband is making fun of me. We’re watching ER, and he made some crack about what was Blackie’s last name anyway? Parrish, I said immediately, because apparently that vital fact is buried deep in my brain, along with the ‘80s song lyrics that are possibly responsible for my inability to learn calculus. John (my husband, not the man who was Uncle Jesse) thinks this is hysterical for some reason.

Perhaps he thinks it is evidence of some long-held crush on John Stamos. It isn’t. If forced to choose between soap opera generated pop stars, I’d have to say I was really more of a Rick Springfield fan. Interestingly enough, I cannot remember his character’s name, but I do believe he was a doctor.

What useless fact is taking up space in your brain?

When I went to the endocrinologist in August, she congratulated me on the progress I’d made, and said that as far as she was concerned, I could start trying to get pregnant. I explained that I wanted to lose a little more weight and we left it at that. When I went to the endocrinologist last week, she flat out encouraged me to start trying to conceive again. I’m trying too hard to be perfect, she said, and I’m not getting any younger.

Well, yes, I know I’m not getting any younger, thank you very much. But it did get me to thinking…is my perfectionism (a known flaw of mine) getting in the way of something I want so very badly? I’ve lost 34 pounds so far. No, I’m not down to my perfect weight, or even my goal weight, but I am so much healthier than I was. Am I healthy enough now? If my doctor says that I am, well, that kind of means that I am, doesn’t it?

Or do I have other reasons for waiting that have nothing to do with my perfectionist tendencies? Let's not forget that this is the doctor who didn't believe I could lose as much as I already have. Maybe she thinks I'll never get to my goal weight. Plus, I read a study that says that every extra pound you carry when you are pregnant is more likely to make a diabetic pregnancy high risk, even for women with a normal BMI. So that would seem to indicate that maybe I should try to lose more weight, because every pound closer to my perfect weight means a healthier pregnancy. Let’s face it – I don’t just want to get pregnant here. I want to have a healthy baby.

And then there’s the infertility factor. Back when we first started trying, I looked around at my pregnant friends, and I could imagine being like them one day. That my turn would come, and I’d be the one feeling the baby kick, picking out paint for a nursery, and emanating that quiet introspective steadiness they all seemed to develop at one point or another. Somewhere along the way I lost that. I can no longer picture myself pregnant. There’s a part of me that is convinced that it isn’t going to happen for me, ever. I guess holding off and waiting to try again is a sort of self defense mechanism. We can’t fail if we don’t try. Our life is fine the way it is.

But then I see get together with one of my friends and see the joy they take in their children, and see what neat people their children are. I read Neil Gaiman’s recent post on his daughter’s scribbling on a white board in their house and see the tangle of pride and enjoyment and love he has with her. Or I read Chris’s thoughts on how his family has become the most important part of his life, and I think, yes, I really do want that.

It’s time to try again.

It’s funny, isn’t it, the way the little things are what come together to make you feel complete. I had a lovely weekend. It made me happy. In fact, all day today I was still in a good mood. We didn’t do anything fancy, but that was what I liked about the weekend. Just to give you a taste, it went something like this...

Seamus had his annual checkup, where the vet assured me he is healthy. Afterwards, John and I took him for a hike in the woods as a little reward for being so brave. Not that he was all that brave, shaking and shedding fur like they were torturing him, instead of weighing him and listening to his heart. And he gave the vet the cold shoulder when the vet offered him a treat. My rude little boy. The vet said Seamus is the only beagle who won’t take food from him! Beagles are slaves to their bellies, as evidenced by that fact that Seamus gained three pounds since last year. That’s why they use them to catch people smuggling unauthorized sausage in through customs.

John prevailed in the Christmas tree debate, so we picked out a tree (a 6-7 foot tall Fraser fir to be precise) and brought it home. I have to admit, it was nice to have a selection to choose from instead of getting stuck with the best of whatever was left like last year. Dealing with the lights was a pain as usual, and complicated by the fact that I just can’t help getting all obsessive about stringing them on perfectly. But in the end, I had a lot of fun listening to music and decorating the tree, which ended up looking quite nice. I can see it now, glowing prettily in the dining room.

I also ran 5.3 miles in an hour. The running is still hard, but I am getting better at it. Oh, and we got the oil changed in the car. I was curious if they would try to get John to have some system or other flushed like they always do when I go alone, and what do you know, they did. That made me feel better, because I have always nursed a suspicion that they tried to sell me so much other stuff because I am a woman and don’t know much about cars. As long as they are treating everyone like a sucker, hey, no problem.

There’s more, but you get the general idea. A small, homey weekend, full of small, homey tasks and events makes Bad Penguin a happy girl. I hope your weekend, and your Monday were as good as mine!