Memo to DC Drivers:

You suck. Guess how long it took me to get home tonight? Two fucking hours.

You know why? Because it snowed maybe a half an inch. And somehow, hours after rush hour is supposed to be over, traffic was still hideous. No, make that hideous squared. I left the gym at 8:15. I got home at 10:15, starving, cranky and very, very tired. All because people around here freak out when it snows and forget how to drive. It’s really not that hard. You just go slower and brake very carefully. Idiots. Of course, there’s always some fuckhead in a Hummer whipping around people on the shoulder because they think they are invincible. I’ve got news for you, Hummer driver. You can still skid and slide into to someone else and cause all sorts of damage, so cut it out.

To end on a positive note, I’d like to heap praise on my wonderful husband, who had food ready for me to eat when I got home, and who taped Veronica Mars for me. And also on my fabulous brother, who took time out of his evening to chat with me so that I wouldn’t go postal and start ramming other drivers in an effort to clear the road. He entertained me as I sat, crept forward at five miles an hour, and then sat again. I did promise him that I’d make up some creative insults for the other drivers, but I’m too damn tired. Let’s just call them all asshats and leave it at that.