Very Funny, Universe

On Friday my sister-in-law called to tell us that she’s pregnant. With her third child in just under five years. Poor John didn’t even tell me until today, worried, I guess, that it might trigger some sort of wild Rolo/M&M/pretzel trail mix backslide on my part. A not altogether misplaced fear on his part, but I’m doing ok. Aside from my initially bitter reflexive response, “Of course she is…” I’m even happy for her. I love my niece and nephew, so naturally I’m happy that I have another one on the way. I don’t have a problem with other people having children. I just want some of my own.

Anyway, after a few days of being off kilter, a little less focused than is typical for me, and even more likely to cry than usual, I’ve applied my usual remedies and coping skills, and I’m feeling better.

I bought a whole bunch of books at Borders and I plan on spending plenty of time firmly ensconced in fantasy novels. Infertility is typically not an issue there. The people in those stories generally have problems with dragons or magic or something else equally unlikely to ever be a difficulty for me, so it is a nice escape.

I tend to bake when I’m upset about something, but this weekend, in an effort to stay healthy, I made homemade tomato soup and shepherd’s pie instead. They were both tasty, but baking is more satisfying. Why baking? I have no idea, but it usually works. I also tend to bake when it snows. It snowed today, so I was practically in a frenzy of wanting to bake. Now there’s an image for you -- me, cruising through my kitchen like a shark, randomly attacking the baking soda and vanilla, my hair all sculpted into a fin and splattered with flour. I didn’t bake though. I sealed the windows in my bedroom, hopefully raising the temperature in there out of the sub-artic ranges.

And then finally, as part of my resolution to do more to help others and a part of Beth’s Small Change project, I bought a bunch of toys for Dr. Bear’s closet at Children’s Hospital. Sometimes when I’m feeling crappy, stepping outside myself and doing something nice for someone else is the best thing I can do. The toys didn’t cost me very much money, and I had fun picking them out. I got the sweetest little Classic Pooh bear/musical stuffed animal, a mini Etch-a-sketch, crayons and a coloring book, and a little handheld Tetris game. Hopefully they’ll make some sick kids feel at least slightly better for a little while.