Letting go

There’s a lot that goes on in my life that I don’t write about here. Given the rate at which I’ve been posting lately, there’d have to be, wouldn’t there, or I’d be the most boring person on the planet.

Anyway, lately I’ve been not blogging about a situation that is just driving me nuts. A person in my life is going through something really awful, and has decided that rather than facing up to the fact that she ended up where she is because of the choices she made, it is much easier to blame me and John.

It’s very odd to feel so much compassion for someone and the truly sad situation they are going through – I can’t imagine how she is feeling, and I hope I never have to deal with something like what she’s facing – and be so incredibly angry at them at the same time. Last night I spent the whole time I was walking Seamus telling her off in my head. Tonight at spinning class I tried to just get in to the groove of the bike and let all of my resentment and hurt feelings go, but I can’t quite seem to shake it. She’s just so damn wrong, we’re being so unjustly blamed, and there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s never going to admit that she’s wrong. Intellectually, I can understand why this is happening. I can even say, rationally, if blaming us is what she needs to do to get through her extremely lousy days right now, then let her do it. But I can’t quite bring myself to believe it. I know she's wrong, and I want her to know how wrong she is.

This is not healthy, and I know it. I’ve got to find a way to grow up, get past this and move on. One of us has to, right?