We had the funeral on Thursday. John wrote and delivered a beautiful, moving eulogy. The priest spoke of Nora's life not having ended, but instead having changed as she left this existence behind. I don't think he meant it in the way I interpreted it, but still, I appreciated the convergence of philosophies that allowed both the serious Catholics and the heathens like me to walk away feeling well satisfied with what he'd said. I thought I would be more disturbed by leaving her at the cemetery, but it wasn't as awful as I had made it out to be in my head. Funerals apparently do serve the purpose for which they are intended, and make it easier to accept death and to say goodbye. We had a small wake at Nora's house afterwards, and then made our way home, utterly exhausted.
Friday we spent together, just the two of us and Seamus, trying to recover from the effects of the last 10 weeks. We've been on high alert since Easter, with family battles raging, and Nora steadily declining, and relatives from all over the globe coming and going. I've been so impressed by the way other people have acted throughout this period of our lives, although most particularly in the week since Nora died. My friends have been outstanding, whether they were Seamus-sitting, attending the funeral, listening to me complain, listening to me cry or generally offering support. My family has been lovely, even my dad. Everyone at work from the people on my team, to my boss, to my boss's boss said "Don't worry, we've got everything covered, take the time you need to be with your husband." Even people who don't know me, like the guy at Kinkos who helped me do the programs for the funeral, were just wonderful. And of course, my friends in the computer. Thank you to everyone who has been so kind to us recently.
Now the challenge will be to get back to normal. It will be nice to find the old rhythms our lives and take them back up again.
I know how incredibly hard death can be. I just lost an uncle 2 weeks ago. Since my mom was always "the mom" to her two youngest brothers (this being one of them), I have always felt more like their sister than their neice. Anyway, he had lung cancer and did not take any treatments. He lived about 9 months and was in an extreme amount of pain before he basically went commatose a few days before he died. Watching him die was difficult at best, but my own mother said it best when she said, "it is easier now, knowing he is not suffering like he was and that he is with our mother". My g-ma died 36 years ago when my uncle was not hardly 20 years old. Very sad indeed, but somehow you know that closer really is difficult but not impossible to deal with when you know that the person who died was in such pain.
Sorry to ramble, hope things are better for you and your husband soon.