I think sometimes I have to freak out before I can get past my worries and start thinking clearly. And so I did, and now I feel better. Part of that is due to my wonderful husband who said, essentially, "listen, what ever you want to do, I'll do." And so, because that little voice that I sometimes try to avoid listening to is telling me the smart move is to try (no, not try! there is no trying. only doing!) to lose the weight, that's the plan. Take 90 days. Recover the healthy eating and exercise habits I'd built up before Nora's illness. Feel better about my control over my diabetes. Which is fine, right now. My blood sugar is good. But the healthier I am, the better my chances of a) getting pregnant (which there's no guarantee will happen even with IVF)and b) having a healthy pregnancy. I like the plan. I like having a plan. And I love that John's going to be right there with me, exercising, eating salad and working hard to make this happen.
As for work, reports of my frauditude may have been exaggerated. The project that has been making me nuts is now making my boss and her boss nuts too, so maybe I'm not the problem. Also, one piece of it which had been giving me fits -- I just could not get it right -- all came together last night in an hour and a half of inspiration and scribbling on big sheets of paper. Woohoo!
And the writing thing...I'll just have to find a way to fit it in. It's important to me, so I will. Perhaps I'll give up cleaning the house. I hate that anyway. We'll call the filth "bohemian."
Oh, and totally unrelated, except that my brother called me after that last post because he was worried about me and this came up. Anyone got any suggestions about great places to live in the Pacific Northwest? He and his girlfriend were considering a move to Olympia, Washington, but they visited it yesterday and weren't thrilled, and didn't like Evergreen State the way they thought they would. Now they are thinking about Portland, which they liked when they passed through two years ago. Must have a University nearby, as my brother is planning to go to grad school.
I'm glad you're feeling better! Good luck!
If your brother wants to stay in the states, I would recommend Portland or any of the Seattle area communities. But if he isn't partial to staying in the US, Vancouver is amazing!
I live in Portland-- and have for three years now and love it to death.
We had Portland State, Lewis and Clark and Reed Universities-- plus University of Portland and few smaller others around.
If you need any help with stuff from here, def. send an email; I love letting others know how great of an area it is here!
I'm in Portland, and it is great. It is growing rapidly - it used to feel more like a big town, but that is changing (sadly, I think). It is much larger than Olympia. If he's interested in someplace smaller, I've heard some good things about Bellingham, WA and I'm pretty certain there is a university there.
I'm glad things are falling into place for you, and that you have a plan you can work with.