Listen, stock market, we need to talk about your attitude. You’ve been a real bitch pretty much since last July, although it has gotten much worse since the start of the new year. It’s really starting to wear those of us whose livelihoods are tied to your actions down.
And yesterday was the worst one yet! Your vertiginous (like that? I learned a new word. One of my coworkers said, “Hey, would you describe today’s market as vertiginous? “ “I might, if I knew what vertiginous meant.” And there it was on her word-of-the-day calendar, the perfect fancy word to describe your behavior. Vertiginous, meaning dizzying, I guess like vertigo.) activity yesterday really crossed the line.
While I am glad you decided to end the day in positive territory, you really complicated my life yesterday. You changing your mind on direction every 15 minutes meant that I kept having to rewrite copy – the markets are down! The markets are up! The markets can bite my shiny metal ass!
Pretty much everyone is saying that 2008 is going to be a crazy volatile year for you no matter what happens, so you’ll have plenty of chances to act up, but just for today, how about you give us a break? Think about it, ok?
Thanks,
Your pal,
Bad Penguin
