Meditation

I am no good at meditating. I've tried it from time to time, because I like the concept of meditation and on top of that, it has health benefits. It never went well. At the end of yoga class, when you're supposed to lie quietly and mindfully in savasana, I'm usually busy thinking about what to have for dinner or composing blog posts in my head. Once I fell asleep, but I don't think that counts as a success.

I just don't have a quiet and restful mind. I'm an automatic multi-tasker. Even when I watch TV, I'm usually doing something else at the same time - reading a book, working on the computer, knitting, whatever. If there is reading material around when I'm not doing anything, or even if I'm doing something like eating, I'm almost compelled to pick it up and read it. This may be a family trait - I've noticed my brother doing the same thing from time to time, and my mom is practically physically incapable of sitting still. It's not necessarily a bad thing, although I do think my inability to shut off my brain contributes to my insomnia.

But yesterday I got a glimpse of what it could be like. This crazy rain storm came up out of nowhere. One minute there were blue skies and puffy clouds and my neighbors were out walking their dogs, and then suddenly it was too dark for me to even see my book (Michael Chabon's Gentlemen of the Road, by the way, which I enjoyed, but did not find completely satisfying. I felt like I had just gotten to know the characters and then the book was over. I wanted more.) and rain was battering the house. The window was open, and I found myself watching the patterns of the rain whipping sideways outside, the leaves swirling through the parking lot, and the trees down the road bending in the fierce wind. I wasn't thinking about anything else, not even "Oh, I should close the window." I just sat there, observing and being for a couple of minutes. It was nice. Relaxing. Who knows if I'll ever do it again, but it was interesting enough that I might actually try.