April 2009 Archives

I would really appreciate it if you would stop taking promising TV shows and making them suck. You did it with Torchwood (yes, I'm still pissed - that's irritated in American, not drunk - about the finale) and now you've done it with Primeval as well. If you could please stop:

a) overcomplicating the plots and
b) stupidly killing off characters I like

I would greatly appreciate it.

Both Torchwood and Primeval worked because the premise was simple. For Torchwood, a rift in the space time continuum made a lot of weird shit go down in Cardiff, so the members of Torchwood were there to step in and protect the regular people. For Primeval it was that portals to other times would open and dinosaurs would come through and cause trouble, so the Primeval team had to deal with them and get them back to where they belonged so as not to mess up evolution and timelines and such.

But then you start throwing in romances that don't make sense and conspiracies and bad guys that come out of nowhere, and nonsense about clones, and I start to lose interest. And have I mentioned the killing off of good characters in ways that do not seem to advance the story? Plus, and this may just be because you British don't do much with guns in general, but if I ended up on team dedicated to capturing and/or fighting aliens and dinosaurs, I'd get a gun and I'd learn how to shoot it. And maybe I'd practice being able to hit a target once in a while. The fact that these characters are always missing with their first shots is starting to get unbelievable. I bought it for the first episode or two, but now even your military guys seem to miss. Do you need a lesson from your American friends in good old fashioned ass kicking, shooting and blowing shit up? If so, I recommend Die Hard, Reservoir Dogs and Scarface. If you want to look closer to home, I refer you to Mr. Jason Statham's body of work, most particularly the Transporter and Crank.

I sincerely appreciate your attention to this important matter.

I put my sick time on the couch to good use, reading Staked and Revamped by J.F. Lewis. I'd seen Staked in the store and had it on my mental list but hadn't gotten around to picking it up yet. Then I read an article on Tor.com the other day which mentioned that Lewis had gotten kicked out of his church for writing fiction they found unacceptable. His characters have sex and use swear words and are vampires and werewolves and demons and shapeshifters and magicians.

I clicked through to read the interview with more details, and while it didn't say exactly which church it was - and perhaps it is obvious to people who know more about religion than I do - it did say that he had talked to his priest (or whatever, head religious guy) while he was writing Staked, and the priest seemed to think the book was fine. Then once the book was published, the church freaked out on him and demanded that he not write any more stories like it or do anything to promote the book or he was out of the church. All I could think was here's this poor guy who has actually achieved the dream and gotten a book published, and they told him he had to choose between his work and his church because they didn't like some of the words he used. There is no way that God could be that petty. And seriously, is your religion so flimsy that fictional creatures in a fictional city doing fictional things can somehow threaten it or the purity of your followers? They can't actually run out and become vampires you know. Fiction.

So I picked up a copy of Staked and the sequel, Revamped, the next time I went to the book store. They're actually quite enjoyable. The main character, Eric, is an incredibly powerful vampire who is very hard to kill. He screws up a lot, has very little in the way of social graces, and is terrible at following rules. He kills people pretty regularly, and without much in the way of remorse. Even so, he has a moral code and tries to help plenty of people too. You know me. I'm a sucker for a story featuring a badass rule-breaker with a heart of gold. Lewis's vampires fall into different categories with the lower level ones being fairly standard in their abilities, but the higher level ones being almost impossible to kill, even with stakes and sunlight. In Staked, Eric may or may not have killed the son of an Alpha werewolf, and it has touched off a war with the werewolves. He keeps trying to stop it, but someone he trusts is betraying him, and keeps getting in his way. Plus he's just made his girlfriend Tabitha a vampire and her little sister Rachel is putting the moves on him. And he's got a business to run. Life is complicated for this vampire.

Revamped picks up seconds after the ending of Staked. I don't want to give that ending away, so I won't go into too many details. In Revamped, though, we get to see Tabitha making her way in vampire society and we learn more about how the universe Lewis has created works. Plus, more of Eric's mysterious back story is revealed. There's a great scene where he learns a vampire history that has to do with his family by seeing a series of stained glass panels. I had fun reading these books and watching the story unfold, and I look forward to the next one. And while I'm not a Christian, I can say quite sincerely that I didn't see anything in these books that was even remotely dangerous to church- going folks. I hope that J.F. Lewis's church comes to its senses and lets him back in, if that's something he wants.

I took a quick trip up to New York on Friday for a business meeting. I went with my new boss and another team member. The weather was lovely. We traveled by train, which I always enjoy, and the meeting itself was extremely productive, which was fabulous, since I'd been prepared for it to be complicated.

Two things of note happened. First, I totally jinxed myself. For some reason, I felt it necessary to say out loud that I had made it through the whole winter without getting sick. Sure, I qualified it with "but my allergies have been really bad." and "I'll probably get some horrible summer cold" but it was too late. I had to be punished for my folly.

My throat was sore when I woke up on Friday, but seeing as how my dark grey car was covered in so much pollen it looked green, I figured it was due to allergies. Nope. My colds always start with my sinuses, but not this time. This time I have some weird chest, throat and ear cold. I started coughing and hacking Friday night and I haven't stopped yet. I actually stayed home from work today. I've been propped up on the couch, surrounded by cushions, reading, blowing my nose, chomping on nasty cough /throat drops and sucking down juice, stopping occasionally to feel sorry for myself. It's been full on summer outside for the past three days, and I've been too sick to enjoy it.

The other event of note was that we managed to steal not one, but two cars while we were there. Three mild mannered publishing professionals turned brazen by the big city. Well, no, not really. The people we were meeting with had arranged for a car to take us back to the train station. We went outside and there was a car waiting right there by the door, so we got in it. The driver confirmed we were going to the train station, and then as he started to drive away, he asked "You're Caitlin Murphy?" "No, Kathryn Mulroney"* we answered. "I'm not your driver." he said, and turned the car around. There were two other cars from his service waiting at a different entrance to the building, so he drove us over there. He pulled up in front of them, sternly and emphatically ordering us to stay in the car. He went over and talked to the other drivers for a minute, and then came back over. "You go in that car." he said, pointing to one of the other town cars. "He's your driver." So we went over and got in the other car, and I swear, I swear to you he said "Kathryn Mulroney" and we said "Yes, Kathryn Mulroney." And so we headed off to the train station again. About halfway there, he gets a call on his phone and they say his passenger is waiting. "What are you talking about?" he said. "I already picked them up ten minutes ago." Then he made me say the name into the phone, and they said again "You're in the wrong car." He shows me the text of the reservation info, and it is some chick named Danielle something. It doesn't sound like Caitlin Murphy or Kathryn Mulroney. I don't know how he misunderstood us. "You're supposed to be in car 73, but I guess you can just stay in that one." said the dispatcher, and we made it to the train station with at least ten minutes to spare. Hopefully poor Caitlin and Danielle got their rides too.

*Names were changed to protect the identity of my boss and any other random people hurt by senseless limo theft, but they really were as close as Caitlin Murphy and Kathryn Mulroney, just different.

I cannot remember a time when I couldn't read. Obviously I wasn't born knowing how to read, so there must have been one, but I really can't remember it. I remember my mom reading to me when I was very small. I remember being in Kindergarten and first grade and being bored out of my mind as we went over phonetics, because I could read and write. Tying my shoes was still a struggle, but I was way ahead of my classmates when it came to reading.

Reading was such a big deal to me that I have a very clear memory of getting my first library card. I was six. We went to the Aspen Hill library and I got my card and checked out a few books. I went home and sat down at the kitchen table in our 1970's yellow, orange and green kitchen, and read that book for three hours straight. It was a Nancy Drew book, The Hidden Staircase, and I was enthralled. I followed it up with a Hardy Boys book, Hunting for Hidden Gold. That was the beginning of my love of mysteries. My dad is a doctor, and his office was near a the hospital thrift shop. I'd go over there and pick up stacks of books for 10 cents a piece, and then sit up in a tree and read them after school. I had all the old Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys books, plus the Bobbsey Twins and Dana Girls and Cherry Ames and Tom Swift. They all solved mysteries, and took trips all over the world. The Bobbsey Twins went to Hawaii, Nancy Drew to Peru, and Cherry Ames went to be a nurse in England to help bomber pilots during WWII. Of course, by doing so, she lost her doctor boyfriend to some girl who knew her place and stayed home, but I thought Cherry was better off with a dashing bomber pilot anyway. Hey, I never claimed to have been reading literary masterpieces, although I read plenty of those too. I was a very well rounded reader. Or, would read anything you put in front of me, take your pick.

I think I discovered fantasy around third grade. My dad gave me The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, no doubt hoping I'd absorb some Christianity through the C.S. Lewis books. I enjoyed the Narnia stories, but completely missed the Christian symbolism. I just thought Aslan was a cool talking lion. Sorry Dad. I also discovered Susan Cooper's The Dark Is Rising books around that time and I loved them. There was magic, true, but also ordinary kids who played a huge part in the stories. Then I found Lloyd Alexander, Madeleine L'Engle, Andre Norton, Katherine Kurtz and Anne McCaffrey. There was a book called The Girl with the Silver Eyes that made a big impression on me. And there's no doubt that Star Wars and Empire Strikes back, while not books, had a huge influence on me loving SciFi/Fantasy stories.

Interestingly enough given how much I enjoy them now, I don't think I read much in the way of vampire stories when I was younger. I remember liking the Count on Sesame Street, but I also remember being terrified by the space vampire on Buck Rogers. Although that may have been related to my other fear of being trapped in small spaces, because they were trapped on a small space ship with the ugly green alien vampire and could not escape. I know I read Dracula in French class at one point (I know, weird right? Maybe we read a French version and an English version?) but that may have been in high school. I was a huge fan of The Hunger and The Lost Boys in high school, so by then I most definitely liked vampires. Of course, that was during my skulking around in black and listening to Bauhaus and the Sisters of Mercy period, so probably not so shocking. Oh! I know! It was in high school that I first read Interview with the Vampire. Maybe that started it.

But I digress. I was rambling on about books and how they've played such a huge role in my life. My point is, I've read all these wonderful stories over the years, and I think I have some stories of my own to tell. Signing up for a writing class is hopefully just the next step on a journey that I can't even remember starting.

I did something very ordinary and unremarkable on Saturday, but I'm both terrified and thrilled about it.

As I've mentioned, back in November when my company had its first round of layoffs, I was quite sure there'd be a round two, and equally convinced that I'd lose my job when it came. So I started asking myself "if I didn't do what I do now, what on earth would I do?" 2008 was kind of a rough year for me professionally - see a) job connected to stock market and b) year long stock market turmoil, capped off with full-on implosion - but on the whole, I like what I do. I've spent much of the last year and a half focused on building online communities, planning and creating website content, optimizing for search, and engaging customers to drive traffic. I did plenty of other stuff too, but that was the part of my job I enjoyed the most, and I was good at it. Still, I wondered, did I want to do that somewhere else? I wasn't sure, and when I tentatively looked into it as a backup plan for when the layoff came, it seemed like most of the jobs in that sector are in Manhattan and Los Angeles, two places I have absolutely no desire to live. Ever. Unless they are paying me $20 million per year, and while I'm good, I'm not that good.

So I spent more time thinking about my life and what I enjoy about it that could possibly be a career for me if my current one fell through. After a lot of angsty goodness, I arrived at writing, specifically fiction writing, because why go for something easy. I mean, my immediate thought when I worried about getting laid off was that I could probably convince my company to allow me to keep writing for them on a freelance basis while I looked for work. Yes, I had a plan for if I got laid off in place. Ask about freelance work, get the severance money, take a month and drive out to see my brother in Portland and then start looking for a new job. Oh, and I was going to dye my hair blue temporarily because I've always wanted to, but couldn't due to the corporate nature of my employment.

It doesn't seem 100% crazy, the notion of me writing fiction. I wrote my first "book" in fourth grade. It was a Nancy Drew knockoff, I'm sure it was awful, but the fact is, I wrote it. Over the years I'd drift away from writing and then I'd drift back, and then I got busy doing other things. In college I had a double major and a lot of partying to do, which really got in the way of writing. After college I'd periodically make a fitful start here and there, but I never did all that much. I scribble down story ideas all the time, but I never sit down and think them all the way through or turn them into anything.

Now, obviously, round two of the layoffs has come and gone, and thankfully, I'm still employed. However, in the midst of all this soul searching I had an idea, no make that THE idea. It is the best story idea I've ever had, and I'm determined to tell it. I've been working on it on my own, but I've decided it couldn't hurt to get a little help, because it is not enough to tell the story - I have to tell it well. So on Saturday I signed up for a creative writing class. It starts in May. It's just a little workshop, but I'm petrified that it won't go well. And dreaming about how maybe it will.

I'll admit it - I'm a sucker for fitness gadgets. It is one part magical thinking, as in, if I find the perfect fitness tool all of my problems will be solved and I'll be instantly as fit as I want to be, and one part ooh look, shiny new cool thing! I have multiple aerobic steps, including a cheapo one that is too short (Seamus likes to stand on it so he can see out the window more easily), a fancy tall wooden one that wobbled, and the one that I currently use, a double decker affair that is actually very good. I have a balance ball and a resistance band. I have dumbbells in weights ranging from five to 12, and two sets of legs weights. Lately every time I go by the fitness section at Target I catch myself eyeing the kettle bells speculatively. After all, they've been mentioned in Shape, Self and Women's Health. Hmm...maybe I have a small obsession with fitness magazines too.

I also have a whole shelf full of exercise videos and DVDs - cardio focused and weights focused, Pilates and kickboxing, and ones that target specific spots. Now, while you do need some variety in your workouts, you don't need quite that much variety. The secret to getting exercise videos to getting exercise videos to work for you is to do them on a consistent basis.

Most recently I've been wondering about the Wii. A bunch of different people have referenced using it as a fitness tool on their blogs, and it does look like fun. My former boss is a fan too. The devil on my shoulder says "Gadgety goodness! Go for it!" The angel on my shoulder says "Do you really think a video game will give you as good a workout as getting up off your ass and going to the gym?" (My shoulder angel swears a surprisingly large percentage of the time.) The devil counters with "But what about when you don't make it to the gym? They have yoga..." Then I look at the angel and wail "Yoga! I miss yoga and it doesn't fit into my schedule at all right now." The angel crosses his arms, raises a skeptical eyebrow and mutters something I don't quite catch under his breath. The devil cackles and swings his arm as if he's playing tennis on the Wii.

What say you, Internet? Have you tried the Wii? Does it actually provide a workout?

I read my first Jim Butcher book about three or four years ago. While on one of my periodic sweeps through the bookstore I picked up a copy of his first Harry Dresden book, Storm Front. A guy walking down the same aisle said "Oh you should get that. The Harry Dresden books are fun, quick reads." As I am never one to ignore the advice of random guys in Borders (hey, he had the sort of geeky, skinny pallor of someone who'd know a good SciFi/Fantasy book), I decided to get Storm Front and the second book in the series, Fool Moon.

And what do you know, Borders Guy was right. They were fun, quick reads. I won't claim to have absolutely loved them, but I liked Harry (misunderstood black sheep wizard with a good heart, of course I did) and his police friend Murphy, I liked that he bribed minor fairies with pizza so they'd help him, and I found the overall hardboiled wizard detective/urban fantasy premise intriguing. The next weekend I was back at the bookstore buying the rest of the series. I think he was up to book five or six by then. What? I read fast. Got to protect the book supply chain at all times.

Well, the stories and the writing kept getting better with each book and I got hooked. The world Harry lives in just kept getting richer and more interesting. Along the way he picked up a massive dog sidekick, found out he had a half brother, and got an apprentice. Then Jim Butcher started publishing his Codex Alera books, which as straight swords and sorcery sort of fantasy are right up my alley. Now I snap up his books every time he puts out a new one.

The latest one, a new Harry Dresden novel, Turn Coat, did not disappoint. The story starts with Harry's one-time nemesis, the rigid, rule-obsessed Warden Morgan turning up on his doorstep, wounded and on the run, accused of murdering one of the leaders of their governing White Council. Harry has no love for Morgan, but he's absolutely sure that there is no way Morgan is a traitor and a murderer. The story unfolds from there, with Harry trying to keep Morgan safe while unraveling the conspiracy behind his frame-up, and at the same time deal with a terrifying monster that seems to have come to Chicago to stalk Harry specifically. There's plenty of action, and the reader gets a more in-depth look at how the White Council functions (even wizards have to deal with bureaucracy), and many old favorite characters from past books put in appearances, including werewolves, vampires, a coroner, and my new favorite wizard, Injun Joe. Well, favorite after Harry, of course.

The book isn't all whiz-bang action though. Harry has to think his way through a lot of his troubles, he has to teach his apprentice Molly lessons along the way, and he still struggles with how to handle the people he loves. There is a scene with Harry and his brother Thomas at the end of the book that is just heartbreaking.

Turn Coat will make sense even if you haven't read the earlier books, so don't let that stop you. Not that the rest of the series isn't worth reading. In fact, why deny yourself the pleasure? Check 'em all out.

Two of my most dearly held beliefs go thusly:
1) 5:30 a.m. is for sleeping
2) It is only acceptable to see 4:30 a.m. if you are rolling in after one hell of a night on the town. And frankly, while I did that pretty regularly in college and just after, I'm fairly certain I haven't been out that late since I hit 30. I've got stuff to do during the day. I need my sleep.

Which brings me to Seamus, who suddenly thinks sleep is for losers. I don't know what I've done to offend my little dog, but he's decided that we should start getting up between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning. He starts with flipping his ears, knowing the noise will wake me. Then he breaks out the flop and sigh, followed by sticking his nose into anything he can find in the bedroom that will make a rattling noise. For the grand finale, he resorts to fussing and hopping. This is all interspersed with me grumbling "hush, Seamus, it's not time yet" and "no, go lie down and be quiet!" Kicking him out of the room doesn't work. He just runs downstairs, gets even more excited, and comes bounding back up to start shaking his ears again. And I thrash around and try to sleep until I can't take it anymore. "Fine!" I mutter irritably and stomp around the bedroom getting dressed as Seamus wriggles and squeaks in celebration. It's hard to stay grumpy when faced with such an ecstatic dancing beagle, but if he keeps this up, I'll manage.

At first I thought, ok, he's getting older, maybe he's having trouble going all night without well, going. So I tested adding a late night walk just before bedtime. He was so worked up about the change in routine that he hardly slept at all that night. And frankly, when we go outside, he's not desperate to take care of business. He just thinks it would be a really great idea for us to go outside, right now. There must be a dog in heat in the neighborhood somewhere. I hope there's a dog in heat somewhere, because at least that will pass. I can't take much more of this. On Wednesday, I took moldy bread for lunch, because I was so tired I didn't notice it was green. Yesterday I actually cooked myself some macaroni and cheese to take for lunch - hey, I was up with plenty of time to spare - and I was so out of it that I left it sitting on the counter.

Seamus thinks you should ignore the crazy human. He'd also like to know if you want to go outside.

Seriously, the universe does not want me to post. You can't tell from the outside, but Tracey has done some serious work to upgrade me to the latest version of MT. Unfortunately, she ran into a lot of hassles along the way, so it took a while. Then I was very busy being lazy and lounging around on the couch, so I didn't even try to post for a couple of days. Then when I did try, I couldn't. There's something about the new MT that just doesn't work on my home desktop. I don't know what it is, and I couldn't figure it out.

I don't really go on the Internet with my laptop, so then I had to get that hooked up and at first MT wasn't working properly on it either. But then some Firefox plugin fixed it somehow. Oh, but first I went to plug the ole laptop in and connect it to the cable modem and the power strip for all the computer stuff had died and so I couldn't turn anything on. You have got to be fucking kidding me, I said, but luckily I had another power strip. So I had to crawl under the desk and switch everything to the new strip, and bang my head, and fumble around getting the new one in the outlet between the desk and the wall.

Not what I had planned to write at all, but ha! take that technology. I am the victor this morning. And now I have to go to work.

This morning Seamus and I left for our walk at the exact same time that the trash truck pulled up in front of the house. Guess what! The trash truck takes the exact same route through the neighborhood that Seamus and I take on weekday mornings. It was like being stalked by a large, smelly aqua beast with glowing eyes, lumbering along behind us growling and squealing.

Not exactly a quiet, meditative stroll through the neighborhood, but kind of funny all the same.