If someone had come into my house, held a gun to my head and said "Your life depends on your answering this question correctly. Do you have any strawberry jam?" I would have answered with a confident "Yes, we do."

And then I would have died, because apparently we only have grape jelly and red raspberry preserves. I've ransacked the refrigerator and the pantry, so I know this for sure now.

Now you may be wondering what the hell kind of neighborhood I live in - and clearly it is one that takes its condiments seriously - but my point is how can I not have any strawberry jam? I remember buying it so clearly. I can even picture the little jar in my head. So either I'm now hallucinating grocery store purchases or I actually had a dream about buying jam. I'm not sure which is sadder.

Posted by Bad Penguin at May 19, 2009 7:48 AM