I gave up caffeine years ago. I get cysts, you see, and limiting caffeine makes the cysts go away. Plus, I wanted to have a baby, and giving up caffeine is supposed to make it easier to conceive. Maybe. Either way, you're not supposed to have caffeine when you're pregnant and I thought I would be pregnant (ha!) so I gave up caffeine. I did not particularly enjoy the process of giving up caffeine. I got headaches. I was cranky. I was tired. But I did it. After the initial giving up period, I still had the occasional cup of tea or bottle of Coke, but it was not a regular thing with me.

And then somewhere last fall or perhaps over the winter, caffeine crept back in to my life. I was so tired all the time, so lacking in energy and the motivation to do anything that I needed a daily dose of caffeine just to keep moving forward through my day. Sometimes two doses, morning and afternoon. As crutches go, it was a pretty good one - not terribly expensive, always reliable. But now the time has come to say goodbye to my friend caffeine again. I still get cysts, and I still want to have a baby, too. I have not had any caffeine since Wednesday. Here, for your enjoyment, is a re-enactment of my body's reaction to this development.

Thursday morning:
Body: Um, hey, I'm kind of tired over here. You should get more sleep. How about we stop at Starbucks?

Me: Nope. We're just going to have to tough it out.

Body: Not sure I like the sound of that.

Thursday, lunchtime:
Body: You know what would go perfectly with this lunch? A Coke.

Me: I don't think so. We shouldn't have much Coke, what with the diabetes and all.

Body: But there's a soda machine right there in the kitchen. Delicious, icy cold Coca-Cola.

Me: Not gonna happen.

Thursday afternoon:
Body: Tea?

Me: Ok. How about some nice Decaf Constant Comment.

Body, incredulously: You're seriously not going to give me any caffeine? Fine. Enjoy this SKULL CRUSHING HEADACHE, then!

Me: Ow.

I did about half of my Spinning class on Thursday night with my eyes closed, because the overhead lights were killing me. Friday went much the same, with my body periodically suggesting that what I really needed and wanted was caffeine. Sweet, energizing caffeine. At one point on Friday morning I shuffled into the restroom, bleary-eyed and zombieriffic, and was horrified when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I swear, even my hair looked tired.

I think this giving up process took about four or five days the last time I drastically cut back my caffeine consumption, so I'm almost there. Until then, I'll be the tired looking one closing her eyes at odd moments and muttering about tea.

Posted by Bad Penguin at July 20, 2009 7:48 AM